God

Quotes by Woody Allen 









If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

(from Without Feathers)



但願上帝給我一個顯而易見的天啟！例如以我的名義在瑞士銀行存筆大數目。









YALE:

You're problem is you think you're God.

IKE:

Well, I've got to model myself after someone.

(from Manhattan)



你的問題在於你認為自己是神。

這個嘛……我總得以某人的樣貌出現。









I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.



新約之後就看不懂。









If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. 



如果你想逗上帝開心，告訴牠你的未來計畫。

如果真有上帝，我不覺得祂是個邪惡的傢伙。若要挑毛病，祂的表現總是不盡人意。